How the bloody hell do I go about doing this? Do I explain why I haven't started one of these things before now? It's been three months. I can blame it on being busy or some shite like that, but it's not. God, I abhor being nervous and it seems like that's how I am all the time with these people. I just don't GET them. Why does everyone care so much about brooms and magical things, when there's such an amazing world out there? I hate being here and not just because of the stupid Carrows that everyone keeps talking about. I have half a mind to join the D.A thing that's happening. At least they have the right idea. The school is cowering under the reign of three people. It's shite.

And you're stalling, Orlanda. Just get on with it. You're going to have to do this sooner or later and writing to yourself isn't going to help matters. They probably won't even respond to what you're going to write, so it'll be fine. They don't know who you are and they don't care. If they do respond, you don't even have to answer them back.

God, I don't want to do this. I know that I said I'd be social, but come on. I did my social bit ages ago when I made friends with Shelia and Ben....I miss Ben. He actually got what I was saying. Yeah, I had to explain it to him a billion and a half times, but whatever. He'd better not be dead after all this is done....maybe I should start eating too much all the time. You know, in case this whole thing turns into another holocaust. Shite, I should get better at the wordless spell things, too.

1. Start hording food in case of being put in a concentration camp.

2. Eat my weight in pure sugar, just because I can.

3. Study more on the silent spell things.

4. Learn how to fly without the aid of spells, brooms, magic carpets (though that would be fun, especially with cupboards and stuff on top of it for food).

5. Learn how magic carpets are able to be driven and if it's possible to take naps while on them.

6. Learn how to Tango. I'm not really sure why, but I think it'd be fun. The dip things look fairly amazing.

7. See if Dad can order me some tango sh

This is getting stupid. I'm making a fucking LIST. I can't keep putting this off forever. The book Dad bought me for Christmas said that this is the next step, so get on with it already. It's not hard and no more distractions. I'm not really sure why Dad's taken an interest in my social phobias now that I'm sixteen, but I'm not going to complain. The book he got me IS helpful, though who knows if I'll be able to follow it. It's one thing to read about becoming social, but it's another thing entirely to try and BE social. The good thing is that hardly anyone knows it's actually me on this thing, yet. I might try and keep it that way for as long as possible, as there's something good about being anonymous. It's kind of freeing anyway.

Alright...I should just do this. I can try one of the hex things for this, then start on something new and actually make it so the others can see. Or maybe I can scrape this whole idea and work more on homework. I think the latter sounds more appealing and I CANNOT DO THIS. I have flailing limbs and everything! This was such a bad idea. So bad. Incredibly bad. Hugely, ginormously bad.